Reading IKIGAI–The Japanese secret to a long and happy lifeRecently, I began to use reading books as tool to meditate and record my thinking. I found that it is good way for me to sort my thinking and heal from negative experience from workplace bully. I would like to write down some thoughts and suggestions from the books. I learnt some quite important suggestions and tips.A lot of psychologists discussed the concept of resilience. What is meaning of resilience? Resilience means1. the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.“the often remarkable resilience of so many British institutions”Resilience can come in different forms. They include physical resilience, mental resilience, emotional resilience, and social resilience. In here, I only discussed about emotional resilience. After workplace bully, I found that resilience is not the ability to reduce negative emotions. It is about focus on the important things in life rather than what is past and urgent.The book talked about one interesting concept called “antifragility”. The concept even can link with my favorite topic personal finance. Step 1 Create more optionFor finance, instead of a single salary, I am on the way to create muti-income resource. For example, Property rental income and share dividend income are two extra incomes except my salary. So many personal finances book can be summary in one sentence: need use salary income to create more asset which can create positive cash flow for lifetime. Minimum consuming spending and live in simple and quality life. It is one of my life philosophies. I also tried blog as new ways to create digital asset and passion hobbies. It is so hard for me to think and write down in English since it is my second language. However, it will good way to record my thinking and challenge myself.For hobbies, you need use Ikigai and found that something you are good at and something you have passion. In your spare time, transfer hobbies to something meaningful. If you can monetize your hobbies and it will great,For social, I learnt that each people have 4000 hours in lifetime and actually I need only focus on quality and high integrity people. If I can learn from this group of people and became their friends, it will be wonderful experience. For wealth creation, I always think that I don’t need more than I have currently, I need more social quality friends. I don’t mind and generous to spend more time, more money for them if it can give me satisfaction,Step 2, Be conservatively in certain areas and take many small risks in others.I am very conservative for consumer debt. From age grow, I feel that I need declutter things and people. You really don’t need so many things in your life. From study, there will be very limit things which you will use it in your life, no matter things or people.For investment and good debt, I used to take huge loan and risk, but I still control it. At last, it gave me unbelievable reward for it.Step 3, Get rid of the things that make you fragile.This concept really changes the way of my thinking. What make me fragile? What make you fragile?It will be certain things, certain people and certain habits.I use myself as example, a lot of books used to say that you need forgive people which hurt you and give them kindness, reconnect and rebuild relationship if possible. For me, it is such bad suggestion. According to fragile, it is toxic people. The toxic person is anyone whose behaviors adds negativity and upset to your life. For example, there had a group of women who bully me very badly in workplace. Even one of them is not too bad as the rest. But I regarded them as group of toxic people.This is sign of toxic peopleYou feel like you’re being manipulated into something you don’t want to do.You’re constantly confused by the person’s behaviors.You feel like you deserve an apology that never comes.You always have to defend yourself to this person.You never feel fully comfortable around them.You continually feel bad about yourself in their presence.If you feel the same feeling when you deal with this type of people, my strategy is set up clear boundaries with them. I will never be friends with them, and I keep distance with them. I keep my privacy and never share with them anything about my thinking, hobbies and suggestions and tips……I try to cut them off from my life. Unfortunately, it is workplace environment, and I cannot totally distance them. For two people who are most toxic, I cut relationship with them totally. I never talked with them or even say hello. Some people think why need so extreme. From my point of view, it is totally waste my time and energy to socialize with toxic people. Because they cannot give you any suggestions, help you out and shared with you anything useful. It will just unwanted criticism which made you feel be little and self-worried.For some people who less toxic and also belong to their group, I limited social with them and only say hello and goodbye. I set up clear boundaries and never interested in their private life, hobbies. I think that it wastes my time to invest time and energy to this type of people. We have limited energy and time, you want to spend the time with the people which you love, you learnt, you admire. Why need waste time to change toxic people.I learn another thing is that control things which you can control
Can you control another people? Can you control another toxic people behavior to hurt you? For the things that you cannot control, I can only ignore it and only can control my emotions, time and energy. I really enjoy spending time with one of my leaders and her name is J. For me, J is really friendly and nice. She treats all people with respect and esteem. She even can get along with low integrity people. I guess that she had very high emotional intelligence. Actually from 20/80 rules in business and social relationship, the time of each people only had 4000 hours and I really didn’t have time to waste on toxic and low integrity people. Your 80% of time should use on quality and good people.Get rid of debt: Debt make you fragile and I only had good debt and so this item can be tick. I think that I achieved the level which I cannot never imagine. The main thing is reading and large amount of personal finance books reading and brave. I made so many mistakes for property investing and share investing, but I just keep going to invest and do the same.
